In celebration of Women’s Month, I rounded up the top five valuable lessons I’ve learned from the women around me. Some of them are specific pieces of advice, but most of them are a culmination of the things I’ve picked up from world-renowned speakers, authors, mentors, and friends.
1. Just say yes. I was 16 years old when my mom first encouraged me to share an article with a popular lifestyle columnist. Without any legitimate writing experience except for my well-loved blog, my mom believed that I had enough talent to simply go for the opportunity, which I did. I didn’t get my first published article that year but the fact that I simply went for it developed the confidence I needed to pursue similar opportunities when I was older.
Out of all the things my mom taught me growing up, this is what I take with me to this day. My mom would always tell me, “just go for it, who cares about the outcome?” And that’s what I did.
2. Her win doesn’t take away from mine. When I was growing up in the golden age of the 00s, women were constantly pitted against each other (Christina vs. Britney! Jen vs. Joey! Brooke vs. Everyone on “One Tree Hill!”) and that was a culture I believed up until I started going deeper into my spiritual path.
The persistent narrative, most especially around women, is that when one woman wins, another one loses but if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past year — the universe doesn’t work that way. The reality is, the universe is magnificently abundant and one’s blessing doesn’t take away from my own.
3. Your authentic self is what will change the world (or your workplace). This may be embarrassing to say but as a young child, my goal was to speak like the characters on my favorite Western TV shows, and so I watched each show with eagle eye persistence and often mimicked how they spoke until I did.
This was an obsession I forgot about but slowly creeped in when I migrated in 2017. I felt like I had to sound more like the people in the room in order to be taken seriously. But then I look at women like Priyanka Chopra and Gisele Bündchen who are extremely proud of where they grew up and it gave me the confidence to simply own my unique accent and not let it distract me for my real goal: making meaningful contributions to whichever room I would walk into.
Another lesson I’ve learned is that we don’t have to hide our unique traits as women in order to be taken seriously in the board room. In fact, it is our divine feminine traits of being intuitive and empathetic that make us good leaders.
4. Bullying another doesn’t make you a strong woman. I wouldn’t lie or sugarcoat it: I was bullied and have been the bully. And while I couldn’t tell you the reasons why my bullies did what they did, I can tell you mine: it was because I was insecure and angry, and naively thought that bullying another would make me feel good about myself.
How we treat other human beings is a direct reflection of our inner worlds and when our inner worlds are a mess, we criticize and judge people because we are the same with ourselves. Bullying results to no one winning because all it leaves is a pile of hurtful words that we can never take back.
5. Stay grounded in your faith. Ever since I was a little girl, I always knew that life would just work out and that is because of a lesson I learned early on: the power of having faith. It is this faith in God that has gotten me through life’s many seasons and has given me the courage to choose the life that I have today.
And today, on her birthday, I honor the woman who has taught me this and more — my mom. Happy birthday mama, we may not say it often, but we are grateful for you.
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