“Mindfulness is the ability to recognize what is happening in your mind right now — anger, jealousy, sadness, the pain of a stubbed toe, whatever — without getting carried away by it.” — Dan Harris, 10% Happier
Ask anyone who has known me in the earlier part of the decade, and they would be the first to tell you that I was the most reactive human being on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t constantly angry, in fact, I was pleasant until I come across a trigger that would make me explode like a timebomb. And while there are many reasons as to why I used to be the way that I was, a large part of it was because I was reacting to my thoughts and my emotions instead of taking the time to sit and respond.
In a fast-paced world such as ours, there is always more opportunity to react rather than respond. Our generation’s access to the internet, social media, and fast food has wired us to want things instantly and react in a nanosecond. It almost as if we are pressured to stay on top of news headlines and post about it immediately without giving it careful thought.
We are the only generation that is bombarded with a 24/7 news cycle and not given at least a moment to digest what is being said. How many times have we retweeted news pieces that turned out to be fake? Or made important decisions, such as who to vote for, based on the clickbait headlines presented to us? How many times have we shared articles without mindfully reading them and asking if is this true?
How many times have we condemned ourselves for the negative emotions that come up? How many times have we berated ourselves for not being able to switch to happy immediately? How many times have we chosen to brush what we truly feel in order to avoid the discomfort of sitting with our feelings and asking why we are feeling the way we do? How many times have we played the role of the victim because we refuse to look within and admit that much of what happened to us is because of our own choices and no one else’s?
Pausing to acknowledge the reality of our lives — whether the reality of the world or our personal circumstances — can be scary and is the reason why we run away from it. We’re scared of digging deep because we know that once we open that Pandora’s Box, we may never be able to close it.
And while it can be extremely overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be — you can start small, and you can start by practicing the pause. The pause can be something as simple as acknowledging when you are angry, when you are sad, or even when you are happy, and asking questions as to why you are feeling the way that you are, sitting with it, and letting it go.
You don’t have to spend an entire day simmering in it but in the moment that you feel something extremely negative, know that you have this wonderful power to choose especially when it comes to negative emotions. You can choose to react which causes more harm or you can choose to take a deep breath, pause for a second, acknowledge your feelings, and move forward with a calmer approach.
A moment of pause can save you a lot of unnecessary arguments with both yourself and others. Believe me, if there was something that I wish I knew earlier, it would be this very gem that I am sharing with you today. For me, the pause was the first step into learning more about the practice of meditation and mindfulness.
Practicing the pause made me realize that external circumstances did not need to leave me frantic like it has for so many years. Not pausing made me lose control of my own life and made me define myself as a victim. Not taking the time to acknowledge my feelings made me lash out and blame others without realizing that the power they had over me was one that I gave them myself.
Pausing allowed me to reclaim my life and take ownership of it and in doing so, I am rarely swayed away from my center and I do say rarely because we’re never quite fully there, but I’d like to think that on most days, I try and sometimes that makes all the difference.
So, on this Sunday, I encourage you to pause, it may be exactly just what you need.