CARLA BIANCA RAVANES-HIGHAM
At the moment, I have just completed the book, Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. And one of the things she repeatedly discusses in the book is the subject of forgiveness, setting our parents free, and in turn, setting ourselves free.
The very first environment that we encounter growing up is that of our home. We grow within the space that our parents create for us. As children, we see our parents as heroes, those who come in to save the day when things are tough.
Unfortunately, as we grow older and leave the bubble of being children, we realize that our parents, though they are living heroes, are not immune to mistakes, to their own pain, and sometimes, our own failed expectations.
This is one of an adult’s most shocking reality – to realize that our parents are human beings and not the impenetrable beings we have painted in our heads.
Another favorite author of mine, Joyce Meyer, once also spoke about seeing our parents as human beings who did the best they could with what they were given.
Sometimes as children, we forget that our parents had a full life before us, and that the life that came before marriage and parenting may have not been the perfect one. This is especially true for both my parents.
Growing up, my brother and I agree that we have been given the best parents, though just like any other, they have their faults too. Moving out of the family home to start life on my own has given me the gift of gratitude towards the people who have raised me.
We can grow up resenting our parents for what they have done, and while there are parents who aren’t worthy to be called so, for most of us, they have given us all they got. We begin to see them as people with their own stories to tell.
Louise Hay would often say to see our parents as children and to try and provide them with the love they may have missed out on as children. This gives me a better perspective on my parents today. We may have had arguments growing up (I am not lacking in my stubbornness) and instead of resentment, I am filled with gratitude.
Sometimes, all it takes is realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around me or what I feel or do not feel. It helps to let go of things that have happened before, release them, and see how I can provide the world with more love and more kindness.
These are the thoughts that are running in my head this Mother’s Day. My parents are incredible individuals who have survived tumultuous storms while putting on a brave face for my brother and I. It is true what they say that we learn to appreciate and love our parents more as we get older and we realize that life is not easy but they gave their best.
I am thankful to God for giving me a new heart and a new perspective and for enough time to spend my years be grateful to my parents and enjoying their company. To allow me to see the graciousness of what they have blessed me and my siblings with and to create memories not just as a daughter but as their friend and companion in life.
I hope this article of mine reminds you of the humanity of your parents and the gifts they have given you and I hope that on this Mother’s Day, you realize that you have the power to overcome all things and just focus on love for it is love that truly heals the world.
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carlabiancaravanes.com
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